The Marriage Relationship
The first most important thing the Devil in this world wants to destroy is the “biblical” relationship with our Creator through His Son Jesus. That relationship must agree with the inspired word of God, and anything more or anything less is sin which only divides one’s soul from being a part of God’s precious family in eternity. The second most important thing the Devil in this world wants to destroy is the “biblical” family. I believe the Devil focuses more on this because when you destroy the “biblical family” you also destroy faith. It is much easier to divide the family. Think, when there is trouble in the home which is easier to say; You need to abandon your faith, or you need to leave that good for nothing spouse, you deserve better? The latter is the mantra of our times.
Every child born into this world, whether by a godly relationship or not, begins with a man and a woman. That is where all families start. Recorded in Genesis 2 God made Adam and from his rib made Eve his, “helper comparable to him”, (v.18, 22), and they became husband and wife (v.24), and in chapter 4 “Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived…” (4:1). That was the first family.
How do we protect the marriage relationship, how do we prevent the devil from dividing the husband from the wife and the family? The surest way is to make certain the word of God is mutually reverenced by both husband and wife and God’s word provides clear instruction for both spouses as for their roles in the home.
A Word to Wives
“1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the [a]incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror (1 Peter 3:1-6).
It is especially important to pay attention to the word, “likewise”. I note, this is the first word in the original Greek manuscripts for example (NASB) has, “In the same way”, and (ESV) starts with “Likewise wives”. Peter is pointing us back to what he stated in the previous chapter such as “having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God” (v.12). Or, “submit [to every ordinance], [that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men], and [to your masters]” (vs.13-18). Therefore, he means “as I describe the children of God in chapter 2”.
Peter connects, “… your good works which they observe …” (v.2:12), with the hope that others will be saved and glorify God with the wife’s “submissiveness”, that a husband that does not obey the word, “without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives”.
Another often twisted point is found at verse 3. Peter said, “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel”.
There are too many who take this as a condemnation against nice clothing, nice hair style, wearing gold, or expensive clothing. Of interest is the ASV translation, “Whose adorning let it not be the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on apparel”, I note, “or the putting on apparel”. What is my point? If Peter was saying wives cannot have a nice hairdo, can’t wear gold jewelry, then we must logically carry that out and say she cannot put on apparel, i.e., clothes. I doubt if anyone in the church of Christ would follow that necessary logic. Peter is simply saying more important is the inner beauty, “rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the [a]incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (v.4).
Make no mistake, I am not saying that the outward does not matter because it does. Our physical appearance does matter and that is what the husband and the world first sees. But as Jesus told the Pharisee, “. . . first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also” (Matt. 23:26). When the wife puts her emphasis on her inner beauty, she will please God and she will be submissive to her husband.
Another point from, “even if”. Parallel to chapter two verse 18, “not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh”. This cancels every argument like, “If my husband doesn’t obey God in our marriage, then I don’t have too” or “My husband doesn’t care, why should I?” Even in an imperfect relationship with a harsh, ungodly husband when the wife maintains a godly chaste conduct, accompanied by fear, not fear of the husband but rather of God, the hope is her husband will be won over by her good conduct and even if he is not, the world will see the beauty in her, and God will be glorified.
A Word to Husbands
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Again, “likewise”, husbands dwell with your wives with “understanding”. A husband “with understanding”, is one who sees the relationship through the instruction of the spirit of God and knows his role and hers according to the scripture, then acts prudently and wisely toward his wife with understanding of his God given duty as a husband.
With understanding, “giving honor to the wife . . .”. Giving not as a gift, but because it is due her as the wife. Always speaking well of her! Always showing her respect! Not just in word, but by providing for her all the necessary, the conveniences, and delights of life that are proper in the sense honor is used in.
With understanding, “as to the weaker vessel”. This is another phrase that has been abused and twisted by many. Some translations have butchered this by saying, “as the weaker partner” (NIV), or “She may be weaker than you are” (NLT), or “since they are weaker” (GWT), and then, “with a clear recognition of the fact that they are weaker than you” (WNT). Point, the wife is not weak but is to be treated as a delicate vessel which points back to understanding and honor. Peter is certainly not implying that the wife is weaker spiritually, and there is no reason to connect this in a physical sense. She is not feeble or inferior mentally or spiritually. Husbands must treat wives gently and tenderly, not with neglect, condescension, or with severity. But you husbands honor her “as” you would a weaker vessel.
To the husband Peter concluded with “and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered”. Heirs together sharing in all the blessings of this life and the next. All the more reason to live peaceably together understanding that the sweetness of prayer will be taken from you, “hindered”, when you treat your wives in an unacceptable manner. I cannot imagine having my prayers with my LORD hindered.
Let us not forget, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. . . love their own wives as their own bodies . . . Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” (Eph. 5:25, 28, Col. 3:19). And of course, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph. 5:33).
In Love
dave
