“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Eph. 5:22). Paul begins with the wives. Walking worthy of the calling in marriage means that wives will submit to their husbands. First, note that the world, our current society has perverted the idea of submission. Submission has become such an ugly word today. Therefore, I want to further help our understanding by denoting what it does not mean. It does not mean wives must allow themselves to be dominated, overpowered, or oppressed by her husband. This is absolutely alien to the meaning of the word and the idea behind what Paul is teaching.
To help us I’d like to consider a synonym for submission which is the word “YIELD”. What is happens when you pull up to a yield sign? Do you begin to feel belittled? Do you feel that the other drivers have power over you? Do you feel that you are being dominated, oppressed by the drivers? Of course not! You are voluntarily yielding to the others right-of-way—because you know that will avoid trouble. Wives likewise your voluntary willingness to yield, or submit your own desires, your own will to the will of your husband—will avoid many pitfalls in the marriage relationship. Submission is what we all must do for Christ—so we should understand it. The Creator is not requiring you to do something that He did not do Himself. Jesus yielded His will to the Father’s all the way to the cross. (John 12). So, giving of ourselves in submission to one another in the marriage must not be viewed as a harmful, belittling, bad or a negative force. Rather wives are choosing to voluntarily comply to the leadership of the husband.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5:25). Guess what husbands? Walking worthy of your calling means that you will love your wives. And Paul is not painting a picture of having a warm fuzzy feeling toward her. The Lord our God paints a deep sacrificial love here with, “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her”. Nowhere are husbands are not told to rule over their wives. The command wasn’t, “Wives, submit” and “Husbands, rule.” The command is husbands love like Christ loved. How did Christ love? Paul wrote to the elders in Ephesus, “…to shepherd the church [a]of God which He purchased with His own blood” (Acts 20:28). Jesus gave everything, His own interests, His own desires, and His own will for the church. Likewise, then, husbands, you are to give up your own interests and your own desires for the interests and desires of your wives.
That paints the glorious picture of just how much Christ loved us—the church. There is more of course, listen in and see the beauty of the marriage walk painted by the hand of God through the inspired apostle. . .